Well my Family is no exception...and I am sad, tired of it, drained and plainly disgusted!
My Mom succession is not easy! Not that it is a multimillion Euros estate, way far from that, but even the little it represent develop greed and interest in some members of my very close Family. And I only have two sisters ! Imagine if we were more children...
One of my sister, live here in St Martin, and we are very close from eachother with a good relationship. She is not married but live with her companion since more than 25 years and have two beautiful well educated children. Her, her children and her companion were very close to my Mom and had a very special relationship with her as well as with my Dad.
She always joke about my naivety regarding family affair and tease me saying that I grew up thinking I was in the "little house in the prairie", and that our family, instead, is for the matter of facts, much more closer to Dallas, Dynasty or Falcon Crest...
My other sister lives in Paris suburbs. She is married and have two children too. She always maintain a difficult relationship with our Parents, and to say the least was totally absent of their life during the last 5 years, until my Mom became sick, that she learned it wasn't curable and she decided to join us (my sister from here and I) in assisting my Mom in the few last months of her life. She actually did well and I am grate full to her for her help and doing it and also for the fact that she managed to make amend and allow my Mom to go in peace (even though, my Mom, until the end was telling us about their differences " forgiven but not forgotten..."). Her husband and children were also absent of my Parents life during the last 5 years, and even during the sickness of my Mom, the kids (28 y/o and 24...) never even call to know how she was doing, even though they were calling their mother (my sister..) every evening on her cell phone. So obviously she was giving them some update about my Mom health but a little personal phone call to their Grand Ma or their Grand Pa would have helped... and maybe showed that they cared!
My Mom didn't saw her Grand Son and Grand Daughter for the last six years of her life, because they chose to take side, and I know, my Dad knows, my other sister knows, the whole familly knows how much my Mom was hurt by that...
My brother in law had such a bad relationship with my Parents, that my Mom, in her testament baned him to be present at her funeral... Neither less to say that he didn't respected the will of my Mom and that he as well as my nephew and niece had the gut to be well present around the coffin, to the disgust and resentment of my sister (from here) , my Dad, me and the rest of the family... But to do not make some waves in such a tragic and sad moment we preferred to be smarter, say nothing and let it go. They knew, though, that they were not welcome but they just cared less in their display of disrespect...
After that, they went back to Paris and of course no more news given to my lonely Dad, no phone call, "nada", except from their mother, my "Dear" sister...
Now a few month ago, we had to start to process the succession of my Mom.
French laws are different than US laws regarding this issues and I won't get technical... Just to say that they didn't like the price tag on the evaluation (estimation) of our Parent's property because "they" thought it was under evaluated by my Dad... Of course it was, but it is still HIS house, and none of us has anything to say about that, because he is the one who now will pay the succession tax and not us! Also, note that I said "they"... and not "my sister"... The problem is that everybody in her family is getting invole in something only her should have a say! Not my Brother in law! Not the companion of my sister here! Not even William even told me anything about this succession because it is a family matter! The problem is that my brother in law in Paris is just an interested greedy man!..
All right, lets go back to the fact "they" were not happy with the property's estimation!... But if the property is under evaluated (and that's when I started to be disgusted with "their" way of thinking...) well they said that "when Dad will pass away and we will sale the house (hellooooo .... We are not suppose to sale it according to my Parents last will !!!...It's a Family estate! and it is suppose to stay in the family...) we will necessary sale it for more than the estimated price because it is under evaluated now, and we will have to pay more taxes !" !!!.... UGHHHHH ?????......
Well my Dad is not dead yet and he is well alive and IT IS STILL IS PROPERTY !!!! How can family can already anticipate that way !
Then since it is not enough, after, they started to work on him (and succeeded...) for him to change the evaluation of the property up to almost the double of what he originally had it estimated, and it is still not close of what it is worth, so they continued to work on him to convince him to sale the property while he is alive !
Why? well just because under French law if he is the one who sale it at an upper value than the estimation then their is no "plus value" tax, and the money has to be divided immediately between all the heirs : my Dad, my two sister and I....
Here you go !....
You follow me now why I am disgusted ?... So far my Dad didn't fall for it...yet!
A little bit more :
After being absent of my Parents life for many years, and giving very little news to my Dad this last past year, and not having a big budget for vacation , they decided to go... to visit my Dad this summer for a couple of weeks in his property... Ooooohhh what a surprise!
I call my Dad this morning , and fortunately I was sit... otherwise I would have fallen on my ass!
He told me that they left this morning to go back to Paris... Great !
He told me that he gave them a check because my niece (who don't give a dam about her Grand Parents) apparently broke the car that she even didn't finished to pay! So what...
It is not my business to know how much money he gave, and I didn't asked, it's his money, but it is the principle!... They spit on my Mom and him during years and now they getting a check!
But it's not all... and that's when I cried for the rest of the day and why I still have a knot in my stomack...:
My Mom was a great photographer... She is the one who inspired me in taking photographs. She had a Camera which was certainly the most sentimentally precious thing for her, the most beloved piece of material... She always had it with her where ever she went, you never know she could see something and take a great shot. William always said it was her eye to the world and to the life! We almost thought burying her with it, but few days before passing, she made the statement that the Camera would be for me, and it's why my sister (from here) didn't put it in the coffin with my Mom.
The other reason was also because the camera had still an unfinished roll inside... Some of the pictures (the last my Mom took...) were taken the previous Christmas, when William and I flew to France to spend it with her and my Dad... After my Mom passed, I came back 10 days later to St Martin, and it was to soon for me to take anything out of the house... I didn't felt it was appropriate to take the Camera right away, even if it was supposed to be mine according to my Mom's will... and it obviously had very strong sentimental value for me!... It has no financial value, it is a reflex camera, not a digital, but just it mean so much for me... well...
"They" took the Camera with them back to Paris!... My brother in law put his dirty hands on it!
I am taking it as a violation, an insult to my Mom's memory, my Mom's will, and a total disrespect of who she was... This is sick !
My sister from here is as much disgusted as I am... She is flying to Paris in the next few days, and promised me to handle the situation (calmly...) and to bring back the Camera to me.
First the Range Rover, now the camera!
My Sister is right.. : my Family is not the "little house in the prairie", but Dallas, Dynasty or Falcon Crest...
I am just plainly disgusted!!!!... and sad...
My brother in law had such a bad relationship with my Parents, that my Mom, in her testament baned him to be present at her funeral... Neither less to say that he didn't respected the will of my Mom and that he as well as my nephew and niece had the gut to be well present around the coffin, to the disgust and resentment of my sister (from here) , my Dad, me and the rest of the family... But to do not make some waves in such a tragic and sad moment we preferred to be smarter, say nothing and let it go. They knew, though, that they were not welcome but they just cared less in their display of disrespect...
After that, they went back to Paris and of course no more news given to my lonely Dad, no phone call, "nada", except from their mother, my "Dear" sister...
Now a few month ago, we had to start to process the succession of my Mom.
French laws are different than US laws regarding this issues and I won't get technical... Just to say that they didn't like the price tag on the evaluation (estimation) of our Parent's property because "they" thought it was under evaluated by my Dad... Of course it was, but it is still HIS house, and none of us has anything to say about that, because he is the one who now will pay the succession tax and not us! Also, note that I said "they"... and not "my sister"... The problem is that everybody in her family is getting invole in something only her should have a say! Not my Brother in law! Not the companion of my sister here! Not even William even told me anything about this succession because it is a family matter! The problem is that my brother in law in Paris is just an interested greedy man!..
All right, lets go back to the fact "they" were not happy with the property's estimation!... But if the property is under evaluated (and that's when I started to be disgusted with "their" way of thinking...) well they said that "when Dad will pass away and we will sale the house (hellooooo .... We are not suppose to sale it according to my Parents last will !!!...It's a Family estate! and it is suppose to stay in the family...) we will necessary sale it for more than the estimated price because it is under evaluated now, and we will have to pay more taxes !" !!!.... UGHHHHH ?????......
Well my Dad is not dead yet and he is well alive and IT IS STILL IS PROPERTY !!!! How can family can already anticipate that way !
Then since it is not enough, after, they started to work on him (and succeeded...) for him to change the evaluation of the property up to almost the double of what he originally had it estimated, and it is still not close of what it is worth, so they continued to work on him to convince him to sale the property while he is alive !
Why? well just because under French law if he is the one who sale it at an upper value than the estimation then their is no "plus value" tax, and the money has to be divided immediately between all the heirs : my Dad, my two sister and I....
Here you go !....
You follow me now why I am disgusted ?... So far my Dad didn't fall for it...yet!
A little bit more :
After being absent of my Parents life for many years, and giving very little news to my Dad this last past year, and not having a big budget for vacation , they decided to go... to visit my Dad this summer for a couple of weeks in his property... Ooooohhh what a surprise!
I call my Dad this morning , and fortunately I was sit... otherwise I would have fallen on my ass!
He told me that they left this morning to go back to Paris... Great !
He told me that he gave them a check because my niece (who don't give a dam about her Grand Parents) apparently broke the car that she even didn't finished to pay! So what...
It is not my business to know how much money he gave, and I didn't asked, it's his money, but it is the principle!... They spit on my Mom and him during years and now they getting a check!
But it's not all... and that's when I cried for the rest of the day and why I still have a knot in my stomack...:
My Mom was a great photographer... She is the one who inspired me in taking photographs. She had a Camera which was certainly the most sentimentally precious thing for her, the most beloved piece of material... She always had it with her where ever she went, you never know she could see something and take a great shot. William always said it was her eye to the world and to the life! We almost thought burying her with it, but few days before passing, she made the statement that the Camera would be for me, and it's why my sister (from here) didn't put it in the coffin with my Mom.
The other reason was also because the camera had still an unfinished roll inside... Some of the pictures (the last my Mom took...) were taken the previous Christmas, when William and I flew to France to spend it with her and my Dad... After my Mom passed, I came back 10 days later to St Martin, and it was to soon for me to take anything out of the house... I didn't felt it was appropriate to take the Camera right away, even if it was supposed to be mine according to my Mom's will... and it obviously had very strong sentimental value for me!... It has no financial value, it is a reflex camera, not a digital, but just it mean so much for me... well...
"They" took the Camera with them back to Paris!... My brother in law put his dirty hands on it!
I am taking it as a violation, an insult to my Mom's memory, my Mom's will, and a total disrespect of who she was... This is sick !
My sister from here is as much disgusted as I am... She is flying to Paris in the next few days, and promised me to handle the situation (calmly...) and to bring back the Camera to me.
First the Range Rover, now the camera!
My Sister is right.. : my Family is not the "little house in the prairie", but Dallas, Dynasty or Falcon Crest...
I am just plainly disgusted!!!!... and sad...
6 comments:
I am so sorry to read about the happenings of your family. How horrible.
but I am not surprised..this always happens when property is at stake after someone has passed. Believe me, it has happened many times in Dee's family..and in many other families here too.
I could tell you such stories.
I never had to go through it because I was an only child.
I know right now there is nothing to ease your pain and your rage.
HUGS
B
clavier sans accent.
Je suis vraiment desolee,je comprends ton degout et cette impression de trahison de la part de ta famille.
Helas, les familles sont souvent toxiques et encore plus quand il y a un deces avec heritage.
Quand tu es une personne bien et sans arrieres pensees, que tu ne penses qu'a honorer la memoire de ce cher etre disparu, tu ne peux qu'etre bouleverser par l'avarisme et la cruaute des gens. De constater qu'un frere ou une soeur ne semblent etre motives que par le gain, qu'ils sont mesquins et calaculateurs... Non vraiment c'est nul et honteux. C'est dans le deuil que tu decouvres qui sont vraiment les gens et ce qu'ils valent.
Helas ce sont souvent ceux qui montrent le moins d'humanite et de compassion qui semblent obtenir le plus et mieux s'en sortir.
Je souhaite que tu puisses recuperer l'appareil de ta maman.
Courage!
While I am not surprised, we all had an experience in these family affairs, I continue to be shocked whenever I hear something like this. I think the most horrible thing is that when you love your parents and you see such disrespect from the people who by right, should be the most repectable it further adds to the anguish,
Get that camera!
Philippe, I am so sorry for your pain, family can be very hard to understand sometimes...but one thing for sure, make sure that your GOOD sister gets your camera back....Good Luck and Keep us posted on the camera...Maureen
Philippe...I had something similar happen to me a few years ago when a distant niece came into the picture after my Aunt died and took my Uncle "to the cleaners". She had his house and all his bank accounts signed into her name and took him to her house to supposedly take care of. Within 3 months he was dead. We didn't find out about this until the day of the funeral. She did everything to hide all these things but we found out on the day he was to be buried. I grew up next door to this man and watched over him for the years after my parents passed away. It was also a bad time in my life. But what got me through it all was that CD I had recommended you buy. I don't know if you ever ordered it but I would have killed someone if it weren't for that CD.
And now Rick and I are in a similar circumstance with his family. His sister should have been born a snake. She is crazy and has turned his family against us both yet she has said to many people that her Mother is crazy and wishes her husband (the father) were dead. They adore her yet everyone knows she is crazy. It's just that she doesn't say these things in front of them so they think she is the innocent one.
But justice was served a few days ago when during a storm, their house caught fire, and they are now forced to live in a hotel for some time with their children. Sometimes you just know "someone" is listening. :)
So sorry you are going through this family drama. So unfortunate. From my personal experience it's the little things with memories attached that mean even more than money.
For me it was my grandmother's cat eyed eyeglasses. I didn't get them. I politley (and emotionally) let my aunt know how much they meant to me. Shortly thereafter I received a package from my cousin with half of her collection (he kept the other). I was thrilled.
I sincerely hope your sister and family will realize the importance of the camera. Don't give up on it!
Post a Comment